06 June 2010 | The Weeping President

So, this is what is perplexing our Media Glitterati: why won't Barack Obama cry?

Or is it, why won't Barack Obama get mad?

These vexing questions are enough for reporters to ask press secretary Robert Gibbs (in all seriousness, mind you) if anyone has ever seen Obama get really upset about the oil spill in the Gulf. Frank Rich has devoted an entire column to it, as did the ever execrable Maureen Dowd, so likes to refer to Obama as "Spock."

What they're all looking for, I guess, is for Obama to have his Clinton moment: I feel your pain.

Problem is, I don't know what this is supposed to convey. What do you want, action or a president with watery eyes? How is a weeping president supposed to convey the idea of a man in charge? I don't know, if you ask me, the Leader of the Free World bawling his eyes out would look like a weakling.

If Obama was to have a quavering voice, he would be pilloried for it, especially by the right-wing. But in either case, what exactly is he supposed to do? He can't go out and capture the oil himself, much less dive a mile under the surface and cut the pipes himself. Sure, he could do things differently, but when I pull the Monday-morning quarterbacking routine, making sure he's in touch with his inner wuss isn't one of them.

As mean spirited as this sounds, I'm finding myself torn between two reactions about the impact of the Gulf spill. I don't need anyone to tell me how really bad this is, but I'm a little exasperated by the florid, tear-jerking approach used by governors or parish presidents down there. And the antics of James Carville, screaming "We're dyin' down here!" just irritated the hell out of me. How is it possible that my concern for how bad the situation is can be so quickly soured by the incessant whining of certain politicos who can't run to a microphone fast enough?

However, that's a separate issue from the need of our Media Glitterati to believe that the real focus should be on Obama's crying. It's a bullshit charge made by feckless idiots. I just wish I got paid as much as they do for it.