11 July 2011 | Adventures in Whole Foods

Even though I like to call Whole Foods "Whole Paycheck," I do shop there, but only because they have certain things I can't get anywhere else. Namely the best yogurt I've ever had: Greek Gods vanilla with honey. I've tried lots of yogurts but this one beats all the others hands down, and since there's a Whole Foods just five minutes from my house, I have no problem going there.

But as I said, it's not buy into the whole "crunchy" milieu of what Whole Foods likes to sell: organic this, that and everything else. I really don't need organic hot dog buns, truly. I like the glass bottles of milk from Strauss Creamery rather than the huge "ORGANIC" label they promote, much less the idea that this milk is superior to standard milk from say, Safeway. I used to be very much into the promise of organic foods, but its allure has worn off and I tend to scoff at those well-heeled shoppers who think they're saving the Earth by shopping at Whole Foods.

No matter though, because the real reason I'm writing this is to wonder if other Whole Foods employees fit the stereotype of "organic foodies" the way my store does. There's barely any employee there who doesn't have 1) at least five tattoos; 2) a minimum of two piercings. Honest to Koresh, I'm not lying. Almost all the workers are in their 20s, have sleeve and leg tattoos and lip or nose piercings. I don't doubt they might be nice people, but it's astonishing how a store can cultivate its image as Earth-friendly by making sure that phrase means "young employees who look more at home in a most pit."

Compare that to Safeway, where if anyone has a tattoo, it's pretty much hidden. Just about every male is clean-shaven, they're all neatly dressed (you can't wear shorts here) and they're trained to always say hello to you. At Whole Foods, not so much. Okay, so what? Every store has its attitude, its culture, you might say. No one will ever mistake a Safeway for a Whole Foods, but it's almost like you're pitting stereotype against stereotype: Safeway (I suppose) should be dismissed by the organic types as "corporate" while Whole Foods is "crunchy." Or more to the point: overpriced foodstuffs for limousine liberals. Going from one store to the other is like taking a trip from one universe to the other.

Not that any of it will prevent me from going to both places, of course: you buy what you like where you can get it. But the entire Whole Foods approach is best reflected in its employees and you just have to shake your head, thank the tattooed 20-something and go on with your day.